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"Keeping the dream alive man..Your hand covers a dimming flame while the blizzard blows all around you..Keep the dream lit..keep warm..) dunno..l'm trying..l'm trying..the dream..its flickering-Oh shit!!Almost went out..keep it lit ..trying...trying..hands are cold.."
-Daniel Jefferson
DANIEL JEFFERSON, lives and works in Florissant, Missouri
Born 1977
Exhibited at Stephen Romano Gallery Brooklyn 2014, 2015, 2016.
Exhibited at Outsider Art Fair 2007, 2008, 2017.
Exhibited at The Living Gallery New York 2018, 2019.
The artistis is represented in several private collections in New York, Pennsyvania, Missouri, Los Angeles and Asia.
DANIEL JEFFERSON
"I float in and out of consciousness..Im more aware of it now..When younger it was thought of as a status symbol..you'd wear it proudly totally not realizing your ..my vanity..Now it is different..Now consciousness seems to bring more sadness..but there are moments when it brings a bliss..a contentment that is fleeting..Simple moments..and then gone..
But for sadness ...seems to feel like it's because I'm slowly waving goodbye to an old friend..Or watching them drown..The old me..the things I sought comfort in..The things that stupid youth walk hand in hand These interests smell like a crock pot of chitlins appalling..embarrassin"
"Men become old an. stories about people situations long gone. to try and deny time. that no one gives a f who they are..what t accomplished or tho have..The can hold
tell and .A firewall .the fact ck about ey've ght they ourt with other old men..cars parked on a lot all cradling a tall can or something harder..spinning tales..selling bullshit.."
All works 2012
"There is a homeless couple that breaks into the apartments I clean and sleep in the stairwells..They are There is a homeless couple that breaks into the apartments I clean and sleep in the stairwells..They are also junkies..Like central casting drug addicts..An emaciated white woman and a black guy missing an eye..His mother use to live in one of the buildings..Seeing her behaviors before she died makes his crystal clear..She’d run around the parking lot with aerobic weights several times then when done smoke 2-3 cigarettes..When he’d stay with her he’d prop an exit door open or stuff toilet paper in the door so he could come in and out at his leisure-..Then I’d start noticing coagulated blood sprays on the wall in the stairwell that junkies do after they shoot up with the remaining blood in their needles..I’d tell my boss about it but given his lack of testicals and retirement in his horizon he gives a pointless response to solution..So they keep coming back and sleeping in the stairwells and leaving their trash ..The fact that I don’t get paid shit and then additionally have to clean up behind the cracked eggs adds to my anger..I’ve thrown them out several times and called the police who do nothing..So last week knowing they’d be in the stairwell again I got a bucket and filled it with water..I went up the stairwell and told them to get out-They took their time and the guy tried to be defiant in from of his drug addled girlfriend that looks like a Tim Burton creation..I took the bucket and threw the water on both of them..it splashed on me some and the wall too..He muttered some threats and I felt rage surging through my body..I began ranting and screaming -begging for war..let me share this anger pinballing all through my body with you and your crackhead companion if she jumps in..Im mad at this piece of shit in a skinsuit but I’m really mad at myself..for being here..working here..scraping by..dealing with scum when I should be creating art..talking art with other artists..but I’m here..so if I suffer you’ll suffer-"
"Now that I have a studio to paint I’m realizing that I need to dedicate myself more to painting..And the bond is in fact getting stronger..So much so that I desire to do nothing else..That’s always been there..I simply want to go to work like all responsible adults but just to my studio to paint..Even when I don’t have supplies I like to lay on the floor and look at the paintings nailed to the wall I’m working on and daydream..Thank God for allowing us the ability to dream..I dream of a long list of commissioned paintings I need to complete that are in the 10-50 thousand dollar range..I dream of getting up every morning and working out first ..maybe sitting in a steam sauna and then an ice bath..Not feeling this disgusting dread I feel when I arrive at my current get by/“job”…I know I know I’m the only one that can connect those dots..Whatever..However that is..I don’t need anything or anyone really when I’m here..I like that..I sometimes have moments when I feel invisible..Slipping through the cracks of life..A man’s confession of vulnerability..It’s a shame we are not allowed to be vulnerable..Women claim they want to see this side but most will use it to further manipulate-Where was I???…Ah yes..I recently got back a bunch of art I did for a show in 2020.. A show no one saw thanks to Covid..My cramped space is even more so now..Stacked up artwork depresses me..I’m no longer emotionally connected to it once completed…So now I need it to disappear in form of a sale and I take said monies and pay for life’s many bills.."
"Faded memories that you hold dear..These memories shaped your childhood ..your character..Adventures solo or with friends..girlfriend..boyfriend..yo ur memories of "How it went down..-Remember that funny thing you did..that so n so did..We were so scared.."I can't believe we didn't get arrested that night"..That was the first time I met you and realized you were the one-Faded..fading..inflated..over exaggerated..To stay alive in your mind..To still feel alive..to remember friendships ..to remember those no longer here ..nostalgic..the right song plays while recanting..the right old photo..chopping onions-"
"Our nostalgia is why we like photographs..Pictures of our childhood..streets covered in snow or leaves..An old coat we remember or pet standing next to us long gone..Siblings making a goofy face or crying about The end of the world seemed Now a hilarious memory to you in your adulthood..Architecture still there or no longer..Our pictures..I have a photo I covet..A childhood friend and myself are standing in front of a graffiti piece he and I had went out the night before and painted..Another childhood friend who did graffiti also came along the next day and took the picture-I had long hair then and my friend I painted withs sister braided my hair in a way that further adds to the nostalgic value of this particular photo..He’s standing more upright while I in my oversized hiphop attire am leaning back slightly up against the wall..The piece was semi dedicated to another childhood friend of mine who’d died in a car accident..His death and my grandfather’s death were close together and were my first conscious introduction to death..When your younger people die and your just a child dressed up at a funeral and the dead just appear to be sleeping surrounded by beautifully arranged flowers that have an odd stench that you’ll associate with further similar circumstances—Since then life naturally organically did what it does and My friend and I stopped hanging out together and stopped talking all together..I remember when I first suggested he and I start doing graffiti he thought I was crazy..He entertained it but it was more something to do illegal for adolescent males..Then he started to get hooked like I was and there is no doubt in my mind -Him being an artist as well he would have been amazing had he continued to be a practitioner—I admired his drawings because he also could copy other art as well and work it into his own stuff..He died 2 years ago-I found this out from the friend that took the photo back then..So I look at this photo..I look at the graffiti wed did the night before that we were proud of..I look at the attitude we’re both giving off that young men give in photographs..We look like brothers..I considered him so—when I look at photos like this a particular song or the instrumental of that song will become the backdrop for it-For this photo I’d say Pete Rock /CL Smooth “I reminisce” or the instrumental to Queen Latifahs “Unity” We were not close towards the end of his life but I thank him for letting me spend so much time at his house with his family and for being my earliest first artist peer.."
"If in a relationship you might spend time reflecting on the time spent with your partner and how it makes you feel..On a bad day or days you’ll think about the state of the relationship and if this person is good for you and whatever issues you have with this person ..Issues that are trivial..Issues that piss you off and make you ready to battle..Contradicting issues..Where they complain about something you do yet” they do the same thing slightly different or something even more annoying but! It’s them doing it so it’s ok..Overlooked..Usually you look at it in that way..Do you ever look at what you do..Not the trivial bullshit..I don’t care about that unless there is potential for it to become a monster..What are you doing..not doing..And how do you work on that when you naturally or defensively observe the things your partner does that they do not work on or if you bring up seem like they care enough to change…I definitely admittedly have a problem here..When I’m told about something I’m doing is an issue with my girlfriend- I immediately see my issues with them and become annoyed..possibly angered..For instance..
The way I load the dish washer is wrong..I put too many in and I should wash the dishes before I put them in..Ok..My reflective response is-“Well at least I make an effort to wash the dishes..AND! ..take them out n stack them up..But even that is an issue because I’m not perfectly matching them up and integrating them together..BUT!..she will leave the dishes in the sink the whole week..Even be there the whole day and when I get back dishes are still in sink..Yet you have issue with me making effort..This is where the annoyance..the irritation and given the circumstances..the anger arrests me..So do I at the point of being told what I’m not doing correctly to her standards give the situation a drone “Yes Dear”..”You’re right Dear” response ???While ignoring her mild or comical hypocrisy??..”Happy wife happy life..We’re not married but I play a doctor on tv..You never ever hear it the other way”Happy husband happy life..Guess because it doesn’t rhyme..Why are the important things not talked about in the relationship?..Or if talked about not pursued like finances or other topics..Isn’t this the heart of the body pumping blood the the limbs??..Are we afraid to analyze those uncomfortable places in our relationships?..Fear that more truths will uncover pointing direction to the road of separation..?..In this regard women are master poker players…That is why when they express their grievances finally ..when they can’t stand it any longer we’re surprised because there were ample opportunities to discuss the trivial ones..But maybe that is our/men’s flaw..It’s all a big deal..It’s all something connected to something connected to something else..So submit fellas..Castrate thy balls and gently place them in their purses??Will I still get your respect..I know a man..older than me..Played football..A broken down man now in old age and old injuries coming to collect their debts..This man’s wife successfully completed his castration years and years ago and might have even threw in a lobotomy..He’s always even tempered..a God fearing Christian man..Who’s wife is a toxic -vindictive-gossip consuming-defecating rumors from her snake shaped tongue…She doesn’t respect him..she glazes him over with empty phrases of supposed love..He never speaks out..never questions..always stays out of it publicly though in private Im sure sides with her..Do we deteriorate to this type of man?.."
"At 1:30 I had to attend a pointless meeting at my job for the whole staff-The meetings are called toolbox meetings..Emphasis on tools” ..Protocol that is not followed is discussed and given a fake concern by my bosses..My bosses..two copy paste human beings that are only working to make it to the retirement finish line..One boss-Doug..Doug the Plug as I call him..”Butt Plug” has a round about way of address issues..So because of this these issues don’t get fixed a lot of time or at all..He also acts like he’s in a henpecked marriage with my other boss..Mona..The absolute cliche asshole boss..completely manic..A do as I say/not as I do type of human being—She reminds me of so many people I’ve had issues with..That personality type is not good for me to be around..I do my best to not interact with her..it is also blatantly obvious she as well is only on her horse holding on till it gets to the town of “Retirement..She laughed in my face during an evaluation when I told her what she should be paying me..I’ve heard numerous stories as to how she got her position..Through different positions with men above her in position..I’ve heard about substance abuse issues-crazy boyfriend coming up to the job issues..Temper and belittling workers..Yet you keep your job..So anyway she was not at the meeting-Shes recovering from fake Covid..The other boss/The Plug asks me to come to his office-I immediately know it’s some bullshit because my bullshit detector is impeccable-especially at shit jobs..Accompanying him is an assistant-Probably heir to Mona’s position when she retires..Caroline..She’s cool..to a degree..Ultimately she’s a company man so only so far will she stick her neck out—The cool worker..The one who acts like”Hey man I’m one of you guys”-Be weary of these..Anyhoo As predicted my attendance and departure from work every day is brought up..Do I get to work late and leave early???—You bet your sweet ass I do-It’s a giveand take for me…You all don’t pay me shit—I deal with this job’s dysfunctional woes daily ..So You all/bosses turn a blind fucking eye to my comings and goings….Then my job performance was brought up which flipped a switch in me—-I then expressed my issue with that part of the convo and ignoring the bad behaviors of the residents which leads to me doing the bare minimum..A practice that I will not waver from..I will not reward bad behaviors but my bosses who lack giving a fuck and a set of balls do..Anytime I have meetings like that with bosses or corporate I always feel disgusted afterwards..Like violated and I want to step into a shower with my clothes on and let the hot water wash the double speak off my body-"
"I think of you in these early morning hours..You profoundly changed my life..I know you are probably asleep right now..I hope you are dreaming something peaceful..I would have continued to walk in darkness had you not came to me..When you were a little bean..wrapped up in a cloth..I’d lay you on the floor at night with just the light from the television on..not on a particular channel..just the light..the fuzz..it would illuminate your face..I couldn’t believe you were here..Sometimes my eyes would water up with happiness and a tear would fall on you..What else matters in this life..w Thank you for hugging me..thank you for walking with me..Thank you for cooking delicious foods when I was hungry..I hope you understand how much I value our time together..how I enjoyed holding your hand when we’d cross the street..I have always had apart of myself that did not understand this life..But your arrival gave me a great fear and a great love …"
"Is this what it felt like for them..My parents..the getting up everyday..repetition of it..getting us in our catholic school uniforms..making us breakfast..book bags full of the mostly useless homework done the night before..The drive through it..in it..The matrix of working class America..My father sometimes would drop me off at school before it was even open..before the janitors had gotten there..The school would be pitch black..I’d stand on the steps waiting..Is this what they felt like..Or is it somewhat different now because of the filthy film social media has drug over everything like a snails slimey trail..Is this what they felt like..Like I do now..?..The hangover feeling when you wake up-eyes looking at the ceiling while the double chinned news anchor gives his prediction of the weather for the day/week..As he always does..You don’t charm me you fat fuck..Your apart of it ..the rinse repeat..Is this what they felt like..My parents jobs were shit In different ways but they seemed to have comradely with other workers and therefore they had decent to pleasant moods going to and leaving work..I have none of that..This shit is work release..It is community service with a paycheck..You have no idea what your parents delt with until you get there..But my story differed from theirs..I didn’t marry my daughters mother /Thank fucking God!..So there was a fragmentation of raising my daughter with someone who was not an ally but more an adversary..I look at her now with pitty..disgust..Even though career wise she’s doing way better than me..She still doesn’t appreciate our child/young adult and carries on with rationing out her love to her..All of it up to this point…life lesions…I feel like I’m reading chapter 10 of my life story before chapter 2..or 5..getting old..er..but feeling adolescent financially..career..not a career I’m sorry get by”…What you think becomes your reality..Hmmm..I’m entertaining this..So what’s the escape..Yoga mats..vegan diet?..Constantly posting for your brand…Making sure you let everyone know the brain fart you just let seep out?..Ceremonial breathing techniques??..All of this?..None of this..I try..I try and enjoy where I am now..dreams are great but sometimes their weight hurts my back holding them up..Getting older offers a supposed wisdom…An explosion of consciousness.."
"He comes up the hill everyday and does the same shit-He drives past and circles back around the other parking lot to see if I’m here..It’s really comical..I offer a gift of a middle finger as he drives by in his tinted windows Ford tuff truck..Earlier this week he broke routine and came my way instead..I began to prepare myself for his pointless babbling pertaining to this job of shit..Some did ya” question he’d ask me as I intentionally stare into his eyes offering nothing but deadpan to him..He rolls down the window and I can tell he’s about to give me something..I begin to take it and reach out not listening..never caring as to what he’s saying during..Then I do..”Do you want a breakfast sandwich “?..I draw my arm back in my car window..”Nah I’m good”..He had this perplexing look on his blowfish face..”You don’t want it”?…His brain-Your poor ass doesn’t want this food I’m offering you in this weird way a man does who cannot express his emotions genuinely..Nah I’m cool thanks-Thanks is my corporate talk for fuck you/fuck out my face with thatshit…Hand me a proper raise in a breakfast sandwich bun..I think he did it as some goofy olive branch because of the corny meeting we had where he passive aggressively told me to come in on time and not leave early…Nah my bloated friend you stepped on one of my invisible land minds…All that’s left now is basic conversation pertaining to this shit job..intentionally nothing More definitely nothing Less..This job feels like the last boss of a video game I’ve been playing since age 15..All previous jobs were levels..levels of shit with an asshole boss at the end..throwing punches..kicks..grenades..fire balls..each job the boss was same..or a little stronger..This job the boss ..The last boss feels like a culmination of all previous..all the annoyances of other jobs mutated together to create a golem..Fire in my heart ..mind..soul..don’t go out..keep me warm..keep me dangerous..keep me creative..keep me"
Daneil Jefferson 5 x 5 feet 2022
"This matrix you were born into.This matrix didn’t exist when you were younger and your mind was free..You we’re content because you didn’t know what being content was you just organically were that..Then as you got older this matrix began to educate you..simple at first..ABCDEF-123456789-..Then DOG..CAT..Yes-no..School was the official indoctrination..Now you line up to go to recess..Bow your head for prayer at church and quietly receive communion-You learn supposed histories of great men who controlled the narrative..Your friends programmed you too..You program each other..Corrupted adults hid messages in your favorite cartoons..tvshows..music your toys..harmless..yes some..and that’s even depending on the consumer..The matrix really thrived in sexuality..Man and woman..attraction..who takes care of who..who’s more important family wise..Mother’s Day-arenas full..Fathers Fay-small gathering..politics too..another matrix that has roads that lead to sex too..republicans-democrats..liberals ..congress..senate..president..handlers..narcissists..megalomaniacal..power..consumption..Your vote matters..Voting booth’s rigged..CNN Fox News..Forbes..National Debt..Bills cannibalize your paycheck..giving other bills a chance to grow up big and strong and fuck up your credit-"
"You know another reason why men don’t talk to others about their problems?..A man is told by the world to keep their problems to themselves..deal with them on their own..Me..I have trust issues so I don’t share with others because I don’t feel safe sharing my setbacks with people I know..Safe not like in physical danger safe but emotionally safe where that person hearing what I’ve said won’t tell others my business ..Business..ha..And when I do share with someone it’s followed by a guilt..a shame..I’m thinking why the fuck did I expose my situation..Vulnerable..The painting titled “The Scream”..I want to scream too..Fuck!!..Financial..Help..quicksand..deep water..glub glub…I see artists around me..One in particular..opportunities left and right..Back in the day I tried to learn from this artist..But I realized he wants to be Michael Jackson and I could be Tito..Fuck em..I don’t affiliate with artists here..Not inspired by their work and the personalities are even more reason to stay away..Back to that vulnerable thing..All of us are trying to get paid So why would they share resources or helpful feedback..So yea Merry Chrimas..I have bills..Car issues I must address..No clue where ima get money to kill all of these trolls ..People say they take it day by day..I take it that way and hour by hour..minutes my minutes..seconds by dust particles floating in the rays of sunlight shining through the window of a shop window at my shit job..If my artwork sucked ok cool..Maybe I could admit that to myself and move on..But it doesn’t..There are layers..great depth..VanGogh level pain..And disclaimer all good art doesn’t have to be loathing and pain ridden..But I must purge myself of this pain..pains..I make pretty pictures..But pretty in the way a supermodel is awkward looking out in the real world but dressed up on the runway stunning and validated in that environment-Merry Chrimas ..I don’t even desire presents anymore..Just enjoy the holiday buzzing..commercials..shoppers..decorations.."
